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Learning to be a gentle parent was a bit of a struggle in the beginning. Chaos was the norm for me when I was younger and I had to unlearn a lot of those second nature habits. It's not always easy—change rarely is. But with consistency and patience, it's so worth it. Teaching our children how to be patient and good listeners is important. But how can we teach them these things if we don't practice them ourselves?
In this blog, I will discuss a few habits that have helped me with gentle parenting.
First up.
Being a good and active listener
This can be especially challenging when children are younger and their emotions are everywhere. I’ve found that being intentional and paying attention to context clues—what happens before and after certain behaviors—helps me understand what’s really going on with my toddler. Sometimes I’ll ask him, and he’ll offer a word or two, which can be helpful. As they grow older, I wouldn’t say it gets easier, but their communication does become clearer. It’s crucial that we take the time to listen and truly understand them. This not only helps us respond more thoughtfully, but also improves how we deliver our responses.
Recognizing the signs of over stimulation
When I’m feeling more impatient or moody than usual, I like to pause and check in with my body to see what it needs. I’ve realized that I get overstimulated easily, so making time for activities to reset is a must. This could be taking a walk, spending some time alone, or simply journaling. This not only helps me practice patience with myself but also with my child. Ultimately allowing me to be more of a gentle and present mom.
Slow responding
One valuable lesson I’ve learned as a mom is that I don’t always need to respond right away-especially in emotionally charged situations. When I react too quickly, I’ve noticed that my responses often come from a place of frustration, This can easily escalate any situation. Over time, I’ve realized the importance of pausing, breathing deeply, and gathering my thoughts before responding. This brief pause gives me the space to check in with my emotions and figure out what I’m really feeling. Am I truly upset with the situation, or am I just tired, stressed, or overwhelmed? Taking that extra moment helps me respond with greater patience. It also sets a positive example for my child, showing him how to manage his emotions in a healthy way.
Being patient with self
Sometimes, we tend to project our feelings and how we treat ourselves onto others. If we lack patience, grace, or understanding for ourselves, it’s likely that we’ll struggle to extend those same qualities to the people around us, including our children. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people—it’s just a natural response to the way we’re feeling internally. If we make a habit of showing ourselves compassion, taking a step back when we need a break, and giving ourselves grace when things don’t go perfectly. It has a way of naturally transferring to others. It allows us to be more patient, understanding, and forgiving with our children as well. The more we practice patience and grace with ourselves, the more we're able to offer those same gifts to the people around us.
Take care of yourself
When we take care of ourselves, we become better equipped to handle life’s challenges. This gives us the energy and mental space to approach difficult situations with a clear mind. It also helps us be more patient and understanding with our kids because we’re not as overwhelmed. By looking after our
well-being, we can show up as the best version of ourselves for them and respond to their needs in a calm and loving way.
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